Getting diagnosed with gestational diabetes at the start of my third trimester made me a bit nervous that I wouldn't be able to have the birth that I had been working so hard to prepare for, but that didn't end up being the case. I was able to control my diabetes through nutrition and it didn't end up effecting my pregnancy or delivery really at all. If anything- I felt better because of my focus on nutrition and exercise and in some ways I think it was actually a blessing in disguise- once again helping me to find mental strength that I never knew I had.
Coming up on the end of my pregnancy I started getting a bit nervous that baby girl was going to decide to come early. This is the first pregnancy that we haven't lived by my parents (in fact- they're on the other side of the world serving a mission in Jordan) so I was worried I would go into labor without any family here to be with our other kids. Especially with it being right around the holidays (her due date was January 5th) -- I just kept praying that I wouldn't go into labor on Christmas Eve! Luckily we have an amazing support system of friends here and I know everything would have worked out just fine, but I was definitely relieved when we made it past Christmas with no baby. Well, New Year's came and went as well and I was still very pregnant. Grace and Nora (my sister in law and niece) got here January 3rd and planned to stay with us until the 12th. We were on baby watch and now anxious for her arrival! Day after day kept passing without going into labor and I began to have a new concern that she wasn't going to come while Grace was here to be with the other kids. At my 40 week appointment on a Thursday we ended up talking about induction and decided that I would be induced the following Monday night if I hadn't gone into labor on my own yet. This would put me just a few days shy of 41 weeks and it would ensure that Grace would still be here. I was sure that I would go into labor on my own over the weekend and didn't think much about the scheduled induction.
Well, the weekend came and went and still no baby. The hospital called and let us know that our induction was scheduled for Tuesday at midnight (technically Wednesday) because that's the earliest time they had available. Up until this point I had felt pretty peaceful about baby taking her time and coming when she was ready. On Monday I reached my breaking point. I had worked so hard to prepare for a natural birth and I really didn't want an induction. On the other hand I really wanted to have the baby while Grace was here so that I wouldn't have to worry about our other kids. And we were feeling a little nervous about how big the baby would be the longer that we waited because she was already measuring over 8 lbs at my 36 week growth scan (that was now weeks ago) and we just make big babies even without GD. I let myself have a good cry and let all of these emotions wash over me and then sat down with Ben to talk it all out. As we talked through everything we both felt so much peace about moving forward with the Tuesday night induction so that's what we decided to move forward with- trusting that God had it in His hands.
Tuesday morning I woke up to losing my mucous plug. I had been up with contractions the last several nights and was excited to see that things were progressing with my body preparing for labor. I was also having mild contractions, but didn't think much of it because of all the contractions I had had the last several days that always fizzled out. Ben and I went on a walk together and the contractions started to really pick up. They slowed when we got home, but never stopped. Around this time my midwife called and told me there was a possibility we could come into the hospital a bit early. She also reminded me I didn't have to be induced and that we could wait for baby girl to come on her own time if we wanted. This really through me for a loop. I went to my room, kneeled and said a prayer, and once again felt the peaceful confirmation that we should go in that night for the induction. Only a few more hours!! We spent the afternoon and evening playing at the park, getting the house in order, and having dinner and doing bedtime as a family. Even though we would have liked to go to the hospital before midnight- we were also grateful to be able to do dinner and bedtime with the kids before we left.
Around 9:30 Ben and I decided to lay down and try to get some rest before we headed to the hospital. I was still having mild contractions, and my mind was not going to turn off knowing we were about to go to the hospital, so I didn't sleep at all. At 11:30 I called the hospital and they told us they had a room and a nurse for us and we could head on in! (!!!) The drive to the hospital was dark and quiet. We were both excited and nervous. When we got there we had to go in through the emergency room entrance (which made us very grateful we were there to have a baby) and then waited in the L&D admittance room for a bit. When my nurse first came she only took me back so Ben told me to send him pictures- ha. Luckily once she got me settled into our room Ben was brought back shortly after. I got into my cozy dress I brought to labor in, the nurse finished checking me in and checking the baby on the monitors, and then she said she would do a cervical check before she left so my midwife could make a plan for how we would proceed with the induction.
Well.. she checked me.. and I was at a 6!!!! This was the best news we could have possibly gotten and I was instantly filled with excitement. It was just what I needed at this point. I was already over half way there!! And although I had been having contractions throughout the day they hadn't been painful or close together so I honestly didn't even realize I was in active labor. The nurse went and talked with my midwife then came and delivered the glorious news to us that I didn't need to be induced at all! (What?!) She said that my midwife would break my water if I wanted her to or I could just continue to let my body progress and do it's thing. I opted for the second choice- which everyone totally agreed with. At this point it was about 2 a.m. so Ben and I decided to take the next hour to try and get some rest since my contractions weren't too strong yet. Ben laid on the couch in our room and tried to get some sleep and I laid in the bed and tried to rest. My contractions started getting a bit stronger so I got out my lavender oil and would just breathe it in through every contraction to try and help myself stay relaxed.
After the nurse and midwife came to check on us around 3 a.m. we decided to get up and try to keep things moving. I knew I wanted to get in the bath at some point, but thought maybe we should try to take a walk first to get things moving more. My body had other plans though and at this point I started shaking like crazy. I always get the shakes when I'm in labor! I couldn't get them calmed down enough to walk so I decided to just go ahead and get in a warm bath and see if that would help. The tub was so soothing and really helped me relax. My midwife brought in a diffuser and a bunch of flameless candles and we turned down all the lights. Ben put on some soothing music and I just really got in the zone. I was worried the bath would slow down my contractions but my midwife assured me it wouldn't and she was right. Ben stayed by my side in the bathroom and held my hand through every contraction. I focused on breathing through them and staying as relaxed as I could. The nurse was able to do her periodic checks on the baby with the portable doppler so I didn't have to get out of the tub. I labored in the tub for about 2 hours. Ben kept asking if I wanted to get out and the answer was No haha. Around 5 am things were really picking up. My contractions were quickly getting stronger and closer together. The nurse came in to check the baby and I couldn't sit up to get the doppler on my tummy because the contractions were just right on top of each other. The nurse held my hand through a couple of them and then left so Ben could come back in with me. At this point I was getting really uncomfortable and the pain was moving more to my back. I got myself turned around and started demanding Ben to do counterpressure on my back. Yes, demanding, not asking haha. This was a little tricky with me being in the tub, but he made it happen. I also had him get cold washcloths to put on my neck and forehead. My body started going into fight or flight and I could not get into a comfortable position. I was still demanding counterpressure from Ben and he was insisting that I let him go get the nurse. I did not want him to leave so I was telling him no, but he could tell that things were getting serious. I suddenly felt the urge so strongly to push and literally could not control it so I pushed and then felt a big 'pop'! My water burst.
Ben ran to push the call button and told the nurse. Luckily, her and the midwife rushed right in because it was go time. I had been told that I could labor in the tub for as long as I wanted, but that I couldn't push in the tub because of hospital policies. Well, there was no way I was getting out of the bathtub now! I don't even really remember standing, but I someone instinctively got myself standing up and holding onto the bar on the shower wall. Pretty sure I was yelling at everyone at this point. "I NEED counterpressure! I can do this! I CAN'T do this! I don't know what to do. I NEED TO PUSH" My midwife got one glove on before I pushed and Ande's head came right out. I didn't even know. I continued to shout and everyone (Ben, the nurse, and my midwife. Side note: I was so grateful it was so intimate and there were so few people in the room. It was just Ben and I most of the time!) told me.. "you can push! Her head is out!! Keep going" That gave me just the last boost of energy and motivation I needed to push one more time and she was here!!! We were all in shock. She was born at 5:20 am. I turned around and asked if I could sit down. My body felt like it was seconds away from giving out. The nurse and Ben led me to the bed and the midwife handed me our beautiful baby girl. Ben kept saying, "You just birthed a baby!! You did it! She's here!!" My midwife was telling me how proud she was of me and how strong I was. And I was just honestly so out of it. I was still contracting a ton and just in a lot of pain. I was telling my midwife "I just need a break. I can't handle any more contractions. I really need them to stop." She said that we needed to get the placenta birthed so that we could make that happen. We got the placenta birthed on the bed and that was a huge relief. My midwife then told me that we needed to check and see if I had torn so she could stitch me up if needed. At this point I just wanted to cry thinking about going through any more pain and she could tell where I was at. So she gave me some more time to just sit and snuggle the baby. Ande latched and started nursing right away and has been a great nurser ever since. The time came too soon that it was time to check for a tear. Much to my dismay she did find a second degree tear that needed to be repaired. She told me we could do it with lidocaine which burns really bad or we could try to just hurry and get them done quickly without. I couldn't imagine how I was going to get through it either way, but we ultimately decided to use the lidocaine. Ben was having some PTSD from his awful surgery experience last year so he stepped out of the room. I laid back, turned on my meditation app right next to my ear, and started praying. I remembered the blessing Ben had given me earlier in the week where I was told that when my delivery got hard I needed to remember my guardian angels and not hesitate to ask for their help. So I prayed and asked for my guardian angels to be with me. And they came. They came right away and I felt them there with me. Holding me in my hospital bed and filling me with peace and comfort. I can honestly say I did not feel one ounce of pain during the lidocaine or stitches. I actually didn't feel anything at all. I could tell my midwife was talking to me, but I didn't even know what she was saying. I was so far away with my meditation and my angels. Afterward, I told her and Ben that I didn't feel a thing and she confirmed that I never even flinched throughout the procedure. A huge tender mercy and miracle.
During that procedure baby girl was getting checked out and we found out she weighed 9 lbs 14 oz and was 21 inches long! And totally healthy. Not our biggest baby, but our biggest baby girl. She had a head full of dark black hair, an olive complexion, and lots of adorable rolls. She looked just like Ellie when she was born- exactly how I imagined she would. And we had the confirmation once again that her name would be Ande. After my grandma Edna and her Ande bears. Ande June. June after her brother and sisters who were all born in June. She was absolutely perfect and now that I was coming out of the fog a bit I could really enjoy her and soak her in. I loved her so much from the moment I saw her. I just kept telling her over and over how proud I was of her and how much I loved her.
We were transferred to our recovery room right as my midwife ended her shift. Truly perfect, miraculous timing. I had seen three midwives during my pregnancy and had a special connection with this one, Micki Sund, from the beginning. We both knew that she was meant to be at my delivery and the timing worked out so perfectly that it could have only been orchestrated by God.
He also perfectly planned the timing of us going to the hospital. If we hadn't gone in that night for my induction I honestly don't think I would have made it to the hospital in time to have the baby. I didn't even realize I was in active labor when we got there and things progressed so quickly. He knew just when and how to get us there. Another tender mercy from Him was that I was able to labor exactly how I had wanted to. Much of my labor was spent at home. And then all of my labor at the hospital was in the bathtub. I really wanted a water birth and that's basically what I got! The first tub birth my nurse had ever seen, actually. Ben and I were just in awe of how aware God was of us and how beautifully and perfectly He orchestrated her whole birth.
We love our Ande June and are so grateful to have her in our arms!!
1 comment:
Such a beautiful story, thanks for sharing. Love you 😘
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