the beginning of Baby Martin

When Ben and I got married we both knew we wanted to have a family. We figured we would have our first babe a year or so after we were married. Then, last semester In our AMAZING marriage prep class at BYU-I our teacher shared that he felt that most of the reasons people wait to have children are selfish (we want to have more money, better jobs, more education, etc). As we studied it out for ourselves we realized that our purpose here on this Earth is to have a family and that there really was no reason to put it off if Heavenly Father didn't tell us too. **I feel the need to insert a disclaimer that this does not mean I am judging anyone else's decision about when to have children. I fully understand that that decision is completely between a couple and the Lord. I just want to document how we personally got to this point and that realization was a big part of it for us** We began to pray about it and took our question to the temple. I had the most powerful confirmation that we were on the right path and that I was indeed sent here to this earth to be a mama. I felt that we would get pregnant sometime between the coming summer and Christmas. We continued to pray (this is a HUGE, SCARY decision!). We decided we would start trying when we got home from our mission trip in August. Then I became scared. I don't even know why (other than the adversary, of course) but I started having all of these doubts and rationalized myself out of starting to try so soon. At that point I was honestly wanting to put it off as long as I could. When we got home from our trip we returned to the temple and I sought guidance once again. I received a very clear impression that once my birth control was gone (in about a week) I shouldn't refill it and we should start trying. Once again fear took over! Are we really ready to be parents?? All of those reasons we came up with to wait about school and money were sounding pretty reasonable! The next day in Church Ben felt prompted to let me read his patriarchal blessing. As I read our blessings side by side I was reminded of our purpose here on the Earth. Nothing else matters aside from family! I was overcome by the Spirit and was once again so excited to start our little family. With the help of the Spirit, this excitement grew and grew until I could hardly stand it. We calculated everything out and started trying as soon as my birth control ran out. Shortly after, I started getting itchy all over (arms, legs, back, tummy, weird!) and getting lightheaded pretty much every time I stood up. I also had some pains in my sides and random stomach aches. Nothing was too bad though so no matter how much I wanted to chock it all up to being pregnant I knew it could really all be coincidental. Finally, the week came that my next period should start and I would be able to take a pregnancy test. I wanted to take it while Ben was at work so I could surprise him when he got home. I had it all planned out and was so excited I took it the very first morning I calculated that I could. Negative. The test was negative and my heart was broken. However, I was instantly comforted and felt the Spirit with me all day. That night when ben and I were finally alone I told him about the test and broke down. He was such a comfort to me. We also realized that the test could have been premature and that we should still wait and see if my period starts. 2 days later I still hadn't started my period and we were going to leave town for the weekend. I decided to take a test before we left. Negative again. My heart was re-broken and I spent the weekend in a bit of a stupor. By this point, I was DYING to fulfill my divine purpose and be a mommy (it was really pretty amazing how quick the transition to excitement was once I let the Spirit take over) and although I know it doesn't happen for most people on the first try, a girl can hope and certainly dream! **Once again I need to insert a disclaimer: I can't imagine what couples who experience infertility go through. I know that I have no idea what that feels like and my heart goes out to them. I'm not trying to be ignorant or offensive here, just wanting to document our story and feelings** By Sunday night when we got home from our (wonderful!) trip my period still hadn't started. This is really unusual for me. We decided to do something crazy and get another pregnancy test first thing Monday morning. We hardly slept that night. I was awake at 4:45 and could hardly stay in bed until we finally got up at 6:40. We were both wide awake and rushed to Wal Mart in our jammies. I was soooo incredibly nervous. I didn't know if I could stand a third heartbreak! But we had to try. We bought the test, rushed home, and.....

Negative. I looked at the test and it looked negative. I walked out of the bathroom, ready to break down, when Ben walked back in and told me he saw a faint second line. WHAT?! I did not believe him. Well, I think I was too scared to believe him. We let the test sit for the recommended three minutes and then... There we're CLEARLY TWO LINES. WHAT!?! Neither of us knew what to do. We were too in shock! I was scared to even believe it in case it was deceiving us! We rushed back to Wal mart, bought two more tests, and...

POSITIVE!!!! I was definitely pregnant!!!! The rest of the day was surreal. I couldn't concentrate on anything else. I could not be happier and neither could Ben. God is so good to us and we feel so blessed to be starting our little family!

Stay tuned to hear all about the joys of pregnancy! ;) haha!

xoxo

Kay  Mama Martin

"It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children."

- Neil L. Andersen